Managing Disclosures
A student may choose to disclose concerns about themselves or a friend to any member of staff, therefore all staff need to know how to respond appropriately to a disclosure.
If a student chooses to disclose concerns about their own mental health or that of a friend to a member of staff, the member of staff’s response should always be calm, supportive and non- judgemental.
Staff should listen, rather than advice and our first thoughts should be of the student’s emotional and physical safety rather than of exploring ‘Why?’ For more information about how to handle mental health disclosures sensitively see below.
The advice below is from students themselves, in their own words, together with some additional ideas to help you in initial conversations with students when they disclose mental health concerns. This advice should be considered alongside relevant school policies on pastoral care and child protection and discussed with relevant colleagues as appropriate.
“She listened, and I mean REALLY listened. She didn’t interrupt me or ask me to explain myself or anything, she just let me talk and talk and talk. I had been unsure about talking to anyone but I knew quite quickly that I’d chosen the right person to talk to and that it would be a turning point.”
If a student has come to you, it’s because they trust you and feel a need to share their difficulties with someone. Let them talk. Ask occasional open questions if you need to in order to encourage them to keep exploring their feelings and opening up to you. Just letting them pour out what they’re thinking will make a huge difference and marks a huge first step in recovery. Up until now they may not have admitted even to themselves that there is a problem.
“Sometimes it’s hard to explain what’s going on in my head – it doesn’t make a lot of sense and I’ve kind of gotten used to keeping myself to myself. But just ‘cos I’m struggling to find the right words doesn’t mean you should help me. Just keep quiet, I’ll get there in the end.”
The student should be talking at least three quarters of the time. If that’s not the case then you need to redress the balance. You are here to listen, not to talk. Sometimes the conversation may lapse into silence. Try not to give in to the urge to fill the gap, but rather wait until the student does so. This can often lead to them exploring their feelings more deeply. Of course, you should interject occasionally, perhaps with questions to the student to explore certain topics they’ve touched on more deeply, or to show that you understand and are supportive. Don’t feel an urge to over-analyse the situation or try to offer answers. This all comes later. For now your role is simply one of supportive listener. So make sure you’re listening!
“I think that all teachers got taught on some course somewhere to say ‘I understand how that must feel’ the moment you open up. YOU DON’T – don’t even pretend to, it’s not helpful, it’s insulting.”
The concept of a mental health difficulty such as an eating disorder or obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) can seem completely alien if you’ve never experienced these difficulties first hand. You may find yourself wondering why on earth someone would do these things to themselves, but don’t explore those feelings with the sufferer. Instead listen hard to what they’re saying and encourage them to talk and you’ll slowly start to understand what steps they might be ready to take in order to start making some changes.
“She was so disgusted by what I told her that she couldn’t bear to look at me.”
It’s important to try to maintain a natural level of eye contact (even if you have to think very hard about doing so and it doesn’t feel natural to you at all). If you make too much eye contact, the student may interpret this as you staring at them. They may think that you are horrified about what they are saying or think they are a ‘freak’. On the other hand, if you don’t make eye contact at all then a student may interpret this as you being disgusted by them – to the extent that you can’t bring yourself to look at them. Making an effort to maintain natural eye contact will convey a very positive message to the student.
“I was worried how she’d react, but my Mum just listened then said ‘How can I support you?’ – no one had asked me that before and it made me realise that she cared. Between us we thought of some really practical things she could do to help me stop self-harming.”
Never leave this kind of conversation without agreeing next steps. These will be informed by your conversations with appropriate colleagues and the schools’ policies on such issues. Whatever happens, you should have some form of next steps to carry out after the conversation because this will help the student to realise that you’re working with them to move things forward.
“Talking about my bingeing for the first time was the hardest thing I ever did. When I was done talking, my teacher looked me in the eye and said ‘That must have been really tough’ – he was right, it was, but it meant so much that he realised what a big deal it was for me.”
It can take a young person weeks or even months to admit they have a problem to themselves, let alone share that with anyone else. If a student chooses to confide in you, you should feel proud and privileged that they have such a high level of trust in you. Acknowledging both how brave they have been, and how glad you are they chose to speak to you, conveys positive messages of support to the student.
“The anorexic voice in my head was telling me to push help away so I was saying no. But there was a tiny part of me that wanted to get better. I just couldn’t say it out loud or else I’d have to punish myself.”
Despite the fact that a student has confided in you, and may even have expressed a desire to get on top of their illness, that doesn’t mean they’ll readily accept help. The illness may ensure they resist any form of help for as long as they possibly can. Don’t be offended or upset if your offers of help are met with anger, indifference or insolence, it’s the illness talking, not the student.
“Whatever you say you’ll do you have to do or else the trust we’ve built in you will be smashed to smithereens. And never lie. Just be honest. If you’re going to tell someone just be upfront about it, we can handle that, what we can’t handle is having our trust broken.”
Above all else, a student wants to know they can trust you. That means if they want you to keep their issues confidential and you can’t then you must be honest. Explain that, whilst you can’t keep it a secret, you can ensure that it is handled within the school’s policy of confidentiality and that only those who need to know about it in order to help will know about the situation. You can also be honest about the fact you don’t have all the answers or aren’t exactly sure what will happen next. Consider yourself the student’s ally rather than their saviour and think about which next steps you can take together, always ensuring you follow relevant policies and consult appropriate colleagues.
We should be honest with regards to the issue of confidentiality. If we feel it is necessary for us to pass on our concerns about a student then we should discuss with the student:
- Who we are going to talk to?
- What we are going to tell them?
- Why we need to tell them?
As a staff, we should never share information about a student without first telling them. Ideally we would receive their consent, though there are certain situations when information must always be shared with another member of staff and/ or a parent.
It is vital to share disclosures with the Pupil Support staff or year group head, as it ensures continuity of care and it provides an extra source of support. We should explain this to the student and discuss with them why it would be appropriate and helpful to share this information with Pupil Support. Pupil Support will then take forward any further sharing of information.
If a child gives us reason to believe that there may be underlying child protection issues, the Child Protection Lead or a DHT must be informed immediately.
When a child or young person is showing concern with mental health, it is important that a multi-agency meeting is called to support their individual needs. This should be drawn up by Pupil Support staff and will involve the pupil, the parents/carers and relevant health professionals. This can include:
- Who is a partner to the plan?
- Reason for the plan - including details of a pupil’s condition, special requirements & precautions, medication and any side effects
- Desired outcomes
- Resources
- Timescales for action and change
- What needs to be done and by whom - who to contact in an emergency
- Any contingency arrangements, if necessary
- Arrangements for reviewing the plan
Parents/carers are often very welcoming of support and information from the school about supporting their child’s emotional and mental health. In order to support parents we will:
- Highlight sources of information and support about Wellbeing on our school website, Twitter @St Andrews_HWB, Instagram @st_andrews_wellbeing and TikTok @standrews_hwb
- Ensure that all parents are aware of who to talk to, if they have concerns about their own child or a friend of their child
- Make our Wellbeing Policy easily accessible
- Share ideas about how parents can support positive wellbeing in their children through our information
- Keep parents informed about the wellbeing topics their children are learning about and share ideas for extending and exploring this learning
- Provide information on the Wellbeing Strategy in relation to their initial views.
If parents/carers are receiving support for their child’s wellbeing they should always receive further sources of information and give them leaflets to take away where possible, as they will often find it hard to take much in whilst coming to terms with the news that you’re sharing. Sharing sources of further support aimed specifically at parents can also be helpful too e.g. parent helplines and forums.